Jan 202011

When Staggy first saw The Doctor, this is what he recalled…

You know this guy. The night you were caught burglarizing your father’s friend, Arlys Rosgen’s home, you remember the flashing lights and sirens of the police cars, your father shouting at you incoherently through the squad car window, then arguing with Arlys. The two got in a shouting match, but then you saw this guy talking to your father and Arlys as they calmed down.

Later, during your trial, your father passed word to you about the bribe. You tensely watched through the last few witnesses as the judge eyed you coldly. It wasn’t going to work, you thought. This judge looked mad. And righteous.

The court recessed following the final testimony and your stomach was burning with stress. You asked to visit the restroom so you could vomit up your breakfast. As you were led down the hallway in cuffs, you saw this guy talking to the judge. Later, you were extremely relieved when the judge handed you a slap-on-the-wrist sentence.

You always thought that he must have been a lawyer or P.I. working for your father. But you never saw him again.

 Posted by at 1:18 pm
Jan 192011

Well, here I am. Off to work security for another of my old college buddies weird Halloween parties. You know, the one where they get that homeless wacko psychic to do a séance and try to freak each other out.

Times have been tough lately so I can’t really pass it up, but I have to take a taxi all the way out to the ferry at Willapa Bay. This time we’re having it at Fab’s old man’s mansion ’cause the old fart finally kicked the bucket and Fab is taking over the place.

When we all get there things seem a bit weird. It looks like the man of the manor has been living in a shed and the mansion has but a few foot prints through the dust collected on the floor. The art gallery is the strangest place as every portrait is of some tormented screaming face. Debra found a brass ring in the floor but that was about it.

It turned out that that brass ring was part of a friggin’ old fashion carousel, like out of some movie or somethin’, out in the front yard. I mean who on gods green earth has a carousel? (Well except maybe that freak Michael Jackson.) We all went out to check this thing out and found a trap door that lead under this thing. When we all went down there ant turned on the lights, it was like we hit the friggin’ motherload.

I am no stranger to stolen art, but this place had some things that are worth millions in the right hands. And they were just set out in this sitting room like they were just normal things. I recognized some of the objects and realized that they have been missing or stolen for years, in fact of point every piece in the room was a known missing relic. I was starting to wonder about how this guy got all of his money when someone opened a door that lead out of this room. What we found put the stuff in that little room to shame. A stainless steel tunnel that stretched on for miles with alcoves every few meters holding another very expensive, very stolen piece of art.

We hiked down this tunnel for a good hour when we came to an access hatch in the ceiling with a ladder. When we opened it we found that this tunnel had lead us under the bay to a small little rock island off the shore of the main island. What we saw next made me think that one of my old “buddies” had dosed me with somethin’. Right there on the rock was a friggin’ little leprechaun or somethin’. The thing seemed to be all irritated that he was missing one of his boots and started telling us other stuff, but then we noticed that the ferry was bringing people out to the island. We decided to hoof it back to meet who ever it was.

 Posted by at 9:57 am
Jan 192011

The son of a well known and wealthy art collector and auctioneer, Staggy Woodword droped out of his fourth year of prestigious art school because it was interfering with his electronic synth emo grunge band. The band soon broke up and he quickly got caught up with a group of art thieves. Staggy was useful to the tight knit group because of his knowledge of the art collector scene and his extensive experience with electronics. After two years of very profitable jobs, he was caught in a sting operation in a house of a close friend of his fathers. He was sentenced to 10 years (he was caring weapons — a knife and a tazer) and was out in four because of a good lawyer and a bribe to the right judge. He now is working as a security guard for a wealthy land owner on an island. He is contacted from time to time by the FBI for assistance with crimes in the art world.

Staggy is 5’4″, 210 lbs and swarthy. He likes to think his art thieving days are behind him, but always plots out jobs in his head when he sees an easy take. He is a decent keyboard player and has excellent electronic and computer skills. He also developed some boxing skills in the slammer. His relationship with his father is strained at best.

 Posted by at 8:50 am